Sam Stobbart, ex girlfriend of murderer Raoul Moat has shared her story about the abuse she suffered at his hands. In The News of The World’s interview with her, she talks about when he slapped her every other day, when he raped her, stamped on her stomach, punched her in the spine and gave her daughter a black eye by hurling a stool at her.

Sam’s report on the rape was: “He didn’t ASK me for sex, he just pushed me on to the sofa and pulled my clothes off, all my clothes.”

“Moat thought sex was his right.”

Sadly, this is the case with a million more relationships. Sam was a prisoner to Moat, she describes his power from body-building and steroid taking: “He could lift me up with one hand. I’m barely eight stone.”

Personally, I don’t think there is enough thoughts and attention paid to this horror that a woman had to live through. Sam got together with Moat when she was merely sixteen. Sam was essentially vulnerable and impressionable, of which Moat took full advantage. After the usual honey-moon period of bliss, Sam talks about how the slightest thing would set him off. She talks about how Moat beat over 30 men up in pubs because they looked at Sam. He would call her his “trophy girlfriend” and say that “no one should look at her”.

If you think this is a healthy relationship, you should seek help now, because you obviously have ’sick bastard syndrome’. The remedy for this is a rope around the neck or 50 painkillers and a bottle of vodka.

On the other hand, you’re probably shocked and disgusted at this kind of treatment of a woman. Then it will shock you even more to visit R.I.P Raoul Moat on Facebook. Some of the newer comments, in light of Sam’s story are here for you to see.

Darren Dazaster Trapps: “…and as for Stobbard, saying she was raped.. how else was she gonna get a shag?? bloody smack rat.”

To this, someone replies:

Harry Harry Harri: “Stobbard makes wild claims that she was raped – wishful thinking on her part! She made no claim of this ever before, no allegations to police, no allegations to medical professionals or other law enforcement or statutory public body. These allegations of rape are not only fake but slander on a dead man’s name. Moat is not around to defend himself after being unlawfully killed by police. He was never questioned, cautioned, charged, arrested or convicted over any rape allegations. Stobbard changes her story to suit any chavvy murdoch newspaper. She is a liar and cheat – blood is on her hands not only for her boyfriend who was shot but also the policeman who was blinded. RIP MOAT”

Like… Where to start, you know? First of all, LEARN HER FUCKING NAME. It’s Stobbart, not Stobbard. Then, “wishful thinking” – Yes, because every woman wishes for rape. That’s exactly how it works you complete arsehole. Also, she never made the claim to the police because her roid-monkey tormentor would have battered her to death. And yes, she released her story now after he’s dead because he shot her for dumping him. What might have happened if she told the police he’d raped her. Put two and two together – if that’s possible for you. Then he’s off slagging Murdoch papers… jesus fuck. I’m soooo sure you read totally upper-class newspapers, with all your correct grammar and well-read vibes I get from you – NOT.

The comments on the article on line are even worse.

Marian writes: “Dear Miss Stobbart

Enough, there are real victims to this story.

PC Rathband – blinded
Your Ex, no the one after Raoul Moat, the one he shot remember? The one you replaced Raoul with.
His Family. His Children, Moat’s other children that you know of, and then you. You are the only one making money out of this, isn’t that a bit sad.”

Yes, being raped and battered isn’t worthy of being a victim. In fact, I’d say Sam Stobbart was probably grateful for the beatings and rape. She’s cheerily talking about it on video right there. Tears of happiness, eh? NOT.

Then ‘lisa babe’ writes: “Tall story.

I feel sorry for the next person who has the displeasure of dating her. I had to stop reading-I could not read any more of her nonsense. Not that I am in any way a Moat fan. Please don’t encourage more stories and pay her, I simply won’t be reading.
Condolences to Chris and family and thinking of the Police officer and his. God bless you’s.”

‘lisa babe’ I don’t think she’ll be ready to date anyone for a while, considerng that her boyfriend was just shot and killed by a psycho. No need to worry – OH WAIT it was nothing to do with you anyway!

I could go on, but to be frank, I can’t try to process any more of these horrible, evil two-cents worth pieces any more. There’s at least one comment I agree with:

John “I hope she gets aload of money even if it’s just to annoy some of you jelous lot on here. She was frightened of him and given the fact he shot her, dont you think she had ever reason to be scared? Now she just wants to give her side of the story so that people can see why she did what she did.

Also, you lot have no idea what is going on behind the scences so stop speculating about things you dont have a clue about. I cannot believe some of you are even suggesting that she doesn’t give a damn about her new boyfriends death or whats happened.”

Yes, John. I agree. I hope she does get compensation for living her live as a slave to a vicious murderer and beast. People saying she’s just cashing in are quite clearly jealous at the prospect of a woman getting money. So fuck? Money is money and people want it. Get over it. Sam is only a face in the sea of the faceless 1 in 4 women who suffer rape and the millions more who are slaves and punch bags in their own homes.

My closing message to these people is that the Internet is a forum for people to say whatever the fuck they like, but it’s not big or impressive. All you’re showing is that you’re condoning violence and sex crimes towards women. Learn to be a human being, and learn to fucking spell while you’re at it.

And my closing message to those reading this is that we need to take violence and hate crimes against women in hand. This is not about equal pay and women getting the vote, this is about a war against women. The statistics show that a majority of women are in unhappy relationships due to oppression. Violent men compensate for their own shortcomings (Low self esteem, bad days, poverty, anger problems, inferiority complexes etc) by picking on those they see as being on a lower social rung – Women. They beat, rape and abuse the people who trust and love them, leaving mental and physical scarring. This is a torture device to vent the anger of men who can’t change or deal with not getting their own way.

This method of taking power has been around since forever. Men are instilled with the idea that if you can’t get what you want, you simply take it, or make someone else pay for your trouble. Those men are happy to have a punchbag and a sex doll to rape all their anger into, but what the public need to understand is that she’s screaming and crying out for help – those cries fall on the deaf ears of a patriarchal society, as shown by the reactions to Sam Stobbart’s horrific account.

UKIP, the acceptable face of far right politics in the UK, are possibly facing a financial disaster next month.

July is likely to see the judgement of the Supreme Court over the party’s refusal to forfeit over £350,000 of illegal donations. The Electoral Commission says it knows about at least 67 instances of the UKIP breaking the law on donations. Under electoral law, if a party is given over £200 it has to check if the donor is on the electoral register. UKIP failed to do this, despite loads of warnings from the commission.

The party got £367, 697 from these incidents. Most of the money came from a retired bookie and owner of a bathrobe company, Alan Brown, who was not on the register when he gave them several separate donations. In magistrates court, UKIP was ordered to pay back only part of the amount, but the electoral commission has escalated things to the Supreme Court in an attempt to get the full amount forfeited, in which case it would go to the treasury.

As well as this money itself, if UKIP loses the case then they would face millions in legal bills. It could effectively bankrupt the party.

Should we be happy about this? Absolutely we should, because UKIP are the hidden threat we face from the organised far right. Leftfield has reported before on UKIP as a potential seed from which an important party of the radical right could become a major force in British politics. The model for this would be far right racist, anti-Muslim Dutch politician Geert Wilders, who has just gained a big result in the Dutch general election.

Wilders is the darling of the English and Scottish Defence Leagues, who admire him for his stances such as banning the hijab from all public institutions, calling for the Koran to be banned whilst comparing it to ‘Mein Kampf’, and for the construction of prison camps for Muslims in the Netherlands.

Alan Lake, the shady businessman who bankrolled the rise of the EDL, has said publicly that he’s backing away from his street army of football casuals to focus on finding them a voice in the mainstream political process. He’s doing that by working with UKIP.

Read the rest of this entry »

Scottish Labour have been again embarrassed as leading MSP Frank ‘the Wank’ McAveety was exposed as a pervy bastard.

McAveety was forced yesterday to resign as convenor of the Scottish Parliament Petitions committee and as Labour spokesman for sport. As if Labour hadn’t learned their lessons about microphones being left on already, he was overheard in the committee ogling a member of the public. You can hear what he had to say below:

This of course comes hard on the heels of Stephen Purcell, who like McAveety was leader of Glasgow City Council, being forced to flee the country after being exposed as a school closing, land grabbing, gangster tripping, corrupt coke hound.

McAveety has had a far from glittering career as a typical Labour careerist hack, working his way up the ranks by way of several spectacular acts of idiocy.

After Donald Dewar died, he dithered about whether to support Jack McConnell or Henry McLeish as his successor as Labour leader and First Minister. In the end, trusted by neither, he ended up without a job.

He got back into a minster’s seat in 2002, and in 2003 he was promoted to Minister for Culture, Tourism and Sport. Then came the infamous piegate.

When he was due to be answering questions in the chamber, he was nowhere to be seen. He eventually turned up really late, and told MSPs he’d been “unavoidably detained at the Scottish Arts Council Book Awards.”

This in fact turned out to be a load of bollocks. He had in fact been munching it up in the parliament canteen, where all the posh grub costs about a pound thanks to subsidies provided by you and me. Journalists had spotted him tucking into pie, beans and roast potatoes, and he was soon caught out as a liar who’d tried to cover up a leisurely lunch.

Funny as this was, it’s hardly the worst offence in the world, and we’re sure many readers can sympathise with someone bullshitting their way out of an extra long lunch at work. Of course, most won’t be on the £73 grand salary of McAveety at the time.

What was a worse error was when he tried to have a couple of anti-war protesters fitted up for “intimidating” him. By intimidating he meant “they said bad stuff I did and it hurt my feelings.”

While out canvassing he’d been challenged on his inaction to oppose Labour’s war mongering in Iraq, as well as the closure of the Govanhill pool. His response was to get the police involved and try to get the protesters thrown in jail. But the Sheriff laughed him out of court, saying surely politicians campaigning on the streets are “fair game” for people who want to voice their disagreement. Frank didn’t agree, saying that he’d “suffered the worst intimidation” he’d felt in his life.

The Sheriff responded that he “must have led a very sheltered life.” He added that Frank had “completely blown his credibility.”

He got his third (or is it fourth) shot at the big time in 2007, becoming Labour shadow minister for Sport and petitions committee convenor, a nice wee gig that will have boosted his salary again. Now that’s come crashing down around him as he’s been caught out perving.

Probably a lot of people will say ‘So What?’ about this, but joking aside it is actually worth remarking on how the woman concerned must feel just now. Low level perving like Frank was engaged in is the thin edge of a spectrum that includes staring at women, shouting stuff in the street, all the way to groping or unwanted physical contact. It’s this kind of thing that means many women are made to feel really uncomfortable in public on a regular basis. For someone in a position of authority like him to do it legitimises this kind of behaviour in the eyes of other men, and will embolden some to go further.

Frank isn’t the first old pervy boy in the parliament. Let’s not forget former Presiding Officer David Steel, who when he saw SSP MSPs Carolyn Leckie and Rosie Kane coming up to vote was heard to declare “Well, the view has certainly got better in this parliament!”

There’s nothing wrong with finding a woman attractive. For a man who’s already in a long term relationship with kids to be sitting ogling a woman and pointing her out to a fellow parliamentarian is kind of not cool though. (Incidentally, is anyone able to identify who was sitting next to him and was on the receiving end of this chat? Because it’s also worth remarking that they did nothing to challenge him, a tacit acceptance that it’s OK to treat women as on display for MSPs’ entertainment.)

Then there’s the whole “dark and dusky” thing. Someone has to come right out and say it: Frank McAveety clearly has racialised fantasies. This is pure speculation (we like speculating on things we can’t prove!), but I would guess he’s probably got a lot of that from porn. Pornography, as well as promoting violence and degradation of women, is riven with racism and racialised views of what women from different parts of the world are “like” sexually. Women from the Philippines, who are clearly a group that gets Frank a bit hot and bothered, are some of the most abused and exploited people around the world, not just in the sex industry but also by employers of migrant workers in virtual slave conditions.

Frank also references the painter Paul Gauguin, just to prove how cultured he is (“there’s a wee bit of culture for you”). Gauguin is well known for ending his days in a Tahiti, a French colony that he regarded as a tropical paradise where he could shag natives to his heart’s content in between painting them. He’s a contradictory figure, as although he did argue with colonial authorities, his art is also responsible for helping develop exoticised, sexualised images of Polynesian women back in Europe.

Frank clearly isn’t the worst example of sexism and racism we could throw at you. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t a casual sexist or racist. How would you feel, subjected to his leering gaze? Or if you learned that he’d described you as “dark and dusky”, with clear undertones of “a horny exotic native type.”

What we can take away from the whole affair is that Labour produces a certain class of idiotic, careerist fuckwit, who can mess things up again and again but always end up with a cushy job with a salary higher than most of us will ever earn. For a man like Frank, being in the Labour Party provides you with a great career path to not working too hard, long lunches, and plenty of women to perv over in the public gallery. It’s high time we recognised these chancers for what they are: not defenders of the Scottish working class who vote them in, but parasites making a life for themselves on our backs.

Highlights of Frank’s parliamentary career

Oh my god a bum! People have bums?!

Yes, people do have bums, but this isn’t the nub and gist of the argument here. Sexist advertising? That’s okay. The word bum? Not. I think someone has their priorities mixed up around here.

According to the BBC News website, Glasgow City Council refused to let Reebok advertise their new trainers that tone your arse on the side of their taxis. The Reebok ad people claim that there wouldn’t even have been an actual bum present on the taxi, but only a pair of bare legs, but Glasgow City Council still opposed the ads.

HEL-LO?!

Diamond Dolls. Fucking lap-dancing/strip clubs (Or whatever the hell they do in there) are allowed on the side of taxis, yet the word ‘bum’ would be a scandal? What’s easier to explain to a child? What a bum is (And ALL fucking children know what a fucking bum is) or what Diamond Dolls is? “Yes darling, it’s just a place where ladies take their clothes off so that men can look at their private parts,”

The response from Glasgow City Council should have been to tell Reebok to fuck off and take their sexist advertising else where.

Everyone knows that it’s basically the plot of every commercial company everywhere to exploit the vulnerabilities of people, but Reebok don’t hide it very well. They’re basically telling women “You’ve got a shite arse. It’s like a bag of spanners. I know you fucking love Mars Bars and don’t have the money for a treadmill, but here! Here’s some shoes that will basically do the job for you!”

It’s just one of the tiny cogs in the mass media advertising attack on women. It’s all about fixing women. They’re not fucking right, you know? They need fixing! Mitchell and Webb have done a sketch to this effect, which is funny, and painfully true.

The point I’d like to make is that I’m not defending anyone in this horrible, horrible mash-up of awfulness. Basically both Reebok and the council are bastards. Reebok don’t even advertise their misogynistic trainers in a nice way either. One of their adverts features a female speaking about the trainers and inevitably, there are many hillarious (not) moments where the camera man fixes the camera on her bum and she takes it all in light hearted humour. A note to all women. Men who stare at your bum though a lens without your permission are perverts and should be put in jail (Or shot, in my opinion).

And would you look at that, she’s being deliberately provocative, but she doesn’t ACTUALLY want the cameraman to look at her bum. HOH HOH HOH what a slut! (Says the sexist wanker fraternity).

This kind of portrayal of women is actively harmful. It gives out the subtle, but present message that women are all just asking to be ogled, and if they move in a certain way that also means they want you to look at them or have sex with them. Women will simply not follow a rule book of modest actions and curbed expression for fear of being raped. Men will have to live with the fact that just because they THINK they have a right to make moves on a woman, does not make it remotely so.

Reebok probably think that they’re mighty funny. Woman have bums! HUURRR! That is excruciatingly obvious in this tacky sham of an advertisement that interrupted my meal time a couple of weeks ago.

First of all, we women can’t even see our arses most of the time. What fucking benefit would we reap from having it ‘toned’? None. Men, however, who are all too willing to stare, will. And obviously they’d prefer a worked arse to a perfectly normal sized and shaped bum. In other words, they want to make us look a certain way. Shock horror, eh?

“Shake it up make me feel good”? Don’t even get me started on the song.

My closing point is one which I feel true to, and that i think all women in the world should take on as not only a mindset, but a way of life. I’ve thought about it deeply for a long time, and I feel like no other approach could encompass the range of emotions that women feel in an oppressed, male dominated society: ”Fuck off.”

It makes me grit my teeth every time I see one of the variations of these groups on facebook about “When i was your age, I was <insert something about Pokemon here> not <insert something about getting pregnant here>

First and foremost, as pointed out by Sarah, if you’re at the age where you had Pokemon in your childhood, you’re not fucking old enough to preach anything to anyone about “When I was your age”. “When I was your age is reserved for when you’re an actual established adult. (which is debatable if you’re over 18 and still joining facebook fan pages dedicated to laying hate on an opressed group)

Where’s all the hate-filled groups about teenage dads? It takes two to fucking tango, and do you not think it’s enough punishment to have to squeeze a screaming brat out of your fanny and then take care of it for 16 years without your pretentious bastard scrutiny and mockery? Most girls who end up pregnant as teenagers end up with the entire burden as the guy goes off to live his life. I think losing your opportunities, hopes, dreams and freedom is a big enough punishment from the patriarchal had of society without a generation of deely-bopper snooty CHILDREN trying to look down on them.

It’s a total ploy to make non-pregnant FAILED teenagers feel better about themselves.

Working Class has a high concentration of teenage pregnancies because shitty state schools do NOT offer adequate sex education (And for Catholic Schools, none at all). Young girls AND BOYS aren’t taught responsibility and the repercussions of having unprotected sex. This is not their fault. The only people who would see teenage pregnancy as the mother’s fault would be those so uneducated themselves, that they fail to see what wrong has been done to the young woman.

Young women in working class areas are vulnerable and in a bad position to begin with. This is due to the Capitalist way of Britain (And most of the world). You have insanely rich people, who have access to the right kind of education and amenities (and yes, I’m saying birth control is an AMENITY) to avoid that kind of situation, and SHOULD a well off woman get pregnant, she will NOT have to struggle along for the next 16-18 years. She’ll be well looked after and have all the supplies she needs.

People WILL get pregnant during their teenage years. It’s a fact. It’s always been happening. It’s not some new epidemic, it only seems that way to teenagers now because it’s around them and they were too young to notice before. Plus, remember when you were wee, and teenagers of like 14 were basically big adults to you? Well, yes, if they got pregnant, in your tiny mind, it was okay back then.

Now, you see everything in a different light, and it’s all “She’s such a <insert misogynistic term here> cause she’s pregnant,”. Well, it could have easily happened to anyone. People forget birth control it sometimes fails or any other kind of unfortunate circumstance. What I’m saying is, shut your fucking mouth until you know the reasons behind teenage pregnancy.

People use misogyny as the nice, acceptable fascism to scapegoat on people. Racism is less acceptable now and they’re young people themselves. Women are the only way out. they’re getting all our housing cause they’ve got kids, they use all the benefits.

Naw mate. Go up the town and have a wee look at the bank buildings. RBS? Lloyds TSB? Aye, THAT’S where all your fucking (not well earnt cause you’ve never been taxed in your fucking life) tax money went. Fucking benefits, don’t kid yourself. If benefits were that high, we wouldn’t be in this position, but you wouldn’t really know because all you listen to is The fucking Daily Mail and old people going on about shit they don’t know anything about.

Do yer fucking research mate.

Get it up yeese. (Excuse the pun.)

As we’ve already reported today, The Sun have been relentlessly trying to persuade us to vote Tory. The reason for this is that the Murdoch empire that owns it has sunk millions into pushing the Tories, in the hopes of getting a government that will give them everything they want.

One of the things they want is to be able to keep using pornography to sell their papers. For decades, The Sun has put pictures of nearly naked teenagers on page 3 to help keep them as the number one “news”paper in the UK.

Unsurprisingly, many women are unhappy about the way that page 3 exploits women, encouraging Sun readers to objectify them and think of them solely as sex objects. There’s been frequent calls to try and stop The Sun pushing pornographic pictures of young women.

Since 2003, The Sun have accompanied the pictures with what they call ‘News In Briefs’. This basically consists of putting words in the mouth of the young women they’re exploiting, in order to push their political agenda. Supposedly, we’re led to believe, these women are not only hired to bare their chests, but also because they share the extreme right wing agenda of the Murdoch empire. Not only is this exploiting the models, it’s also manipulating the readers through a twisted version of sexuality, in order to try and get them to support their sinister agenda. You can check out some of the examples here, such as “Poppy thinks Tony Blair was absolutely right to send the troops into Iraq,” or “Tina thinks the G20 have taken the right decision to inject a trillion dollars into the financial system.”

It’s hard to tell what they intend you to think as you read these captions. Is it meant to mean, ‘These are intelligent young women who have made a free choice to be glamour models.’ Or are is it just a way to mock the objectified women even further, by making the patently ridiculous claim that they really said the things attributed to them?

The election special of ‘The News in Briefs’ concerned the noises that some MPs have made about taking action against page 3. Normally I would just link to it, but I’m not sending hits to right wing porn, so here’s the text:

“SIXTEEN Page 3 Girls in all their glory represent the very image of freedom in this country.

But if Labour or the Lib Dems win the election, this could be the last time they are allowed to pose together.

MPs Harriet Harman and Lynne Featherstone will move swiftly to change the law and ban Page 3 forever.

John Locke: Not happy about his theory being appropriated to justify pornography

Our national treasures – who even enjoy the Royal seal of approval from our future King Prince Charles – will be no more.

And at a stroke the very liberties that put the Great into Great Britain will be torn asunder.

The radical ideas of the 17th-century philosopher John Locke helped shape our freedoms enshrined in the Bill of Rights and, later, America’s Constitution.

Lib Dem frontbencher Featherstone was cheered by women’s rights activists when she declared she would “love to take on Page 3″.

But our Poppy said: “The basis of Lockean thought is his theory of the Contract of Government, under which all political power is a trust for the benefit of the people.

“His thinking underpins our ideas of national identity and society. Please don’t let those who seek to ban our beauty win. Vote to save Page 3!”

There’s so much wrong with this article I don’t know where to start. That’s why we’ve lined up Leftfield’s own page 3 stunnas to give our own left wing take on this particular nonsense.

Bob from Airdrie says: “I resent the way they say that banning page 3 would put women on the dole queue, because it implies being a ‘glamour model’ is actually a proper job.

The fact of the matter is it’s not a proper job, it doesn’t come with a wage. Models are not employed, they’re rented from an agency, and paid a tiny portion of the fee that that agency takes. A small minority get to make a bit more money by becoming celebrities, but the vast majority either have to get an actual job, or become even more exploited by going fully into the horrendous pornography industry.

It’s a big lie that glamour models are liberated women who have made a choice, and who make loads of money. They’re exploited and paid a pittance. Page 3 models are not employees, they’re products, as far as the Murdoch empire is concerned.”

Doug from Kirkcaldy says: “This whole so-called controversy is ridiculous, because it’s clearly a transparent ploy to shore up the vote of progressive women for Labour and the Lib Dems.

If Harriet Harman actually took page 3 seriously, she’s had 13 years in government to do something about it. She’s been deputy leader of the Labour Party since 2007, and it’s proven to be all talk.

The fact of the matter is that Labour care far more about the support of the right wing press than they do about doing anything serious to try and stop the sexual exploitation of women.”

And Bill from Auchtermuchty says: “The philosophy supposedly spouted by the models in this article is nonsense.

First of all, the Bill of Rights and the American constitution are in the USA. Britain has neither, so the idea that John Locke’s philosophy has been enshrined in law here is totally wrong.

As a socialist, I do recognise that John Locke made an important contribution to the history of philosophy. His theory of the social contract argues that a government cannot be legitimate without the consent of the people.

The problem however, which was recognised by Marx and other socialists, is that the individualist conception of human rights pretends that everyone can be equal in a society that is still really unequal, because some own property and get rich from the labour of the vast majority.

In the case of page 3, the objectification of women reflects a society where women are forced to compete for the attention of the men who dominate sexist society. Our patriarchal society means that men have power and access to resources that women don’t. Women are only considered valuable to this sexist hierarchy if they’re deemed sexually attractive, and page 3 encourages men to keep thinking this way.

How, in this context, can we really claim that everyone has an equal say in society? How can we pretend that sexism is over women are liberated when this kind of misogynist propaganda is looked at daily by millions all over the UK?”

Having trouble with a break up? Most people just do the decent thing and degenerate into alcoholism, but cockney hardman and wank Danny Dyer thinks you should go one step further and slash your ex’s face, so no one else will fancy her.

When you’ve stopped being a nice pair of tits for Zoo readers, all that’s left is to cut you. Danny also congratulates Cheryl Cole for winning sexiest women of the year award, but says he might only shag her out of sympathy.

Sources close to Cheryl have told SSY that she is inconsolable at not being able to get a proper shag out a sexist arsehole and Z list celeb Danny, best known to SSY readers as Kent Paul out of GTA: Vice City.

Dyer’s comments about slashing women are gonna be picked up by thousands of young men across the UK who read Zoo, and will think it’s acceptable to abuse a woman if she decides she’s not your property anymore.To complain about Dyer, send a message to the Press Complaints Commission here. SSY is gutted to see Danny Dyer drop his standards so low, we’re hoping Danny will return to some of the quality entertainment he has provided us all before, as outlined below:

“Taxi Driver came out. Got cunted”.

Danny Dyer makes first contact.

Icelandic feminists protest outside soon to be closed strip club

In case anyone missed it Julie Bindel wrote an excellent article in The Guardian on Friday’s about the impressive feminist revolution which gone on in Iceland since the political defeat of the right after last year’s financial collapse. A few days ago the country took the radical step of outlawing all strip clubs, or rather banning all businesses from profiting from the nudity of their employees. Last year Iceland also became the world’s third country after Sweden and Norway to outlaw the purchase of sex and they’re also, as far as I know, the only country in Western Europe never to have legalised porn. The left government has in addition introduced tough new laws to tackle trafficking and domestic violence and have also imposed gender quotas within company boards.

This latest bill to close down strip clubs was introduced initially by Left Green MP Kolbrún Halldórsdóttir. As she says “It is not acceptable that women or people in general are a product to be sold.” And Guðrún Jónsdóttir of Stígamót, an organisation which has worked tirelessly against all forms of male violence for the last two decades, points out that “The Nordic countries are leading the way on women’s equality, recognising women as equal citizens rather than commodities for sale.” Within the space of just a year Iceland has, I think we can say, systematically worked to dismantle the patriarchal ideology which has gone on for thousands of years and which sees women and their bodies as being placed on this world in order to serve men.

That Icelandic women have for the first time won real political power is, of course, hardly unrelated to these radical moves. The left advance last year also saw a significant increase in the percentage of women in parliament, due to the much more equal gender balance on the electoral lists of the Social Democrats and Left Greens. Women now make up 43% of MPs in the Icelandic parliament, more than in any other European country except Sweden. And let’s not forget that they also have the world’s first lesbian Prime Minister, Johanna Sigurðardottir from the Social Democrats. Johanna is herself a strong feminist and, while her government has been criticised over some of its policies on Icesave, she cannot be said to be a politician who lacks conviction or who isn’t motivated by a desire to make things better for those she represents.

Feminism is hardly new to Iceland of course. Between 1983 and 1998 they had a feminist party, called the Women’s List, represented in parliament and which was set up due to anger over the lack of the other party’s efforts to promote gender equality and equal representation. And on the 24^th of October 1975 90% of Icelandic women went on strike for the day, refusing to cook, clean or go into work. Today organisations like Stígamót and the Feminist Association regularly engage in various forms of activism and campaign work and have gained increasing political clout.

As can maybe be expected the strip club ban has received significant attention internationally on blogs and various news sites. A few people are supportive but most of the comments I’ve seen are something along the lines of “oh my god, how awful, that’s Iceland permanently off my list of travel destinations”, or “what a bunch of puritanical, sexually-repressed,  militant lesbian, man-hating prudes”. Others, while claiming to be no fans of strip clubs or prostitution, cannot possibly imagine a world where they cease to exist. Well let’s hope Iceland can show that such a world is indeed possible and that sitting back and adopting a defeatist attitude to everything is never going to help us change things for the better. To be radical is to dare to take on and challenge patriarchy at its roots, not to simply manage and regulate it so as to hopefully make it just this little bit better.

Read Julie’s Bindel’s article in full at: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/mar/25/iceland-most-feminist-country

Here’s also an excellent article in English titled “Women and crisis” by Left Green member Drífa Snædal: http://www.vg.is/frettir/eldri-frettir/nr/4543

Obviously, one of the biggest annoyances that comes with being a woman in a sexist society is that people are forever judging whether your behaviour is ladylike enough. However, my real pet peeve is when this thoroughly irritating behaviour tries to pass itself off as journalism and not only attempts to make sure you are a paragon of femininity, but also tries to turn you into a raging fucking idiot. This list of 10 Things Every Single Girl Should Own, written by Amy Spencer, serial knobhead and writer for Maxim and Glamour,  is a prime example. Let’s take a closer look, shall we? The original text from the article is in appropriately womanly pink.

1. A fabulous photo of yourself

We all have that photo: the one where your smile, hair, and (let’s be honest) bod all come together in one sexy little package, whether it’s that snapshot from your trip to the Grand Canyon or that cocktail party photo where you’re dressed to kill. Post that sucker at eye level on your fridge so your male guest can’t help but notice it as he checks out if you have beer (see item #5). What he says: “Is that you?” What he means: “Daa-aamn, girl, you’re hotter than I realised!” Keep a digital version handy so you can email it to online suitors or blind dates who want a glimpse of the goods beforehand. And never, ever throw it away—when you’re eighty-something it’ll serve as an instant reminder that back in the day, you were a total dish!

See, that’s what I want guys who I’m after thinking when they see a photo of me; I don’t think that much of what I’m seeing here and now in real life, but in this picture you are actually a lot hotter than I thought! Let me ask you, Amy, if a totally hawt picture of me on my fridge (at eye

level of course, since you know those poor men have neck flexibility issues and nobody at the house of someone they fancy ever has a wee look about to get an idea of them) is going to help me snare that man, then what’s going to happen if I have Halloween photos on my fridge and I was dressed up as, say, a convincing Mrs. Twit?  Is he gonnae ditch me right there for being a batshit bird gluing fictional character? SCIENCE!

2. A pretty pair of heels

Admit it. You feel like Maria from West Side Story (You feel pretty, oh so pretty…) when you slip on a pair of nice heels. The good news is that these days, you can transform virtually any outfit to make it on-the-town ready by adding heels to a skirt, jeans, cropped khakis, whatever. And no, they don’t have to be towering stilettos, even a pair of 1-inch kitten heels will make you stride a little more confidently. (Added bonus: the taller you are, the more cute men you’ll be able to see around the room.)

Wait wait wait. I thought this was meant to be a guide to getting and keeping a boyfriend? So why would I want to feel like fucking Maria from West Side Story? My boyfriend might get knifed to death, but at least my leg muscles are so tight they could snap! The last time I wore high heels was more than two years ago at a leaving do. They were really pretty and were the only thing I could find at short notice that matched my dress. The only problem was that I couldn’t walk in them. I spent the night propped up against the bar, moving no more than two steps at a time and feeling like I was going to fall off them. Going for a piss was an epic journey. Wear high heels if you want to, I wont stop you and wont have a go; all I want is this insipid ‘journalist’ to drop the semi-scary interrogation tone (ADMIT YOU LOVE HIGH HEELS, WOMAN!) and painting it as though I will never get anywhere with men if I don’t want to wear them. Fact is, any guy who wouldn’t fancy me because I don’t wear high heels is a total dick that I am happy to avoid. As far as I can see, it makes for a good shield against a subset of idiots I never even knew existed.

3. An Eminem CD

What’s one of the first places a guy peruses when he walks into a woman’s home? Her music collection. Good for you if you have an extensive one. But if all he sees is a stack of girl bands (say, Girls Aloud, the Spice Girls, the All Saints, Nora Jones and the Bridget Jones Diary soundtrack), he’s going to panic. Balance out your collection with one CD, any CD, by Eminem and you have no idea how relieved he’ll be. It shows you have an open mind and aren’t easily offended—and that’s music to any man’s ears.

I don’t know about you, but I have zero interest in a guy who is so easily scared that a Girls Aloud CD is going to cause a panic attack. How’s he going to protect me from spiders?! God forbid that a woman should have different musical tastes from you or, even worse, ONLY LIKE POP MUSIC!  You know, as opposed to totally manly ‘alternative’ shitty pop indie rock that you can wail along to at pub closing time. If your sex is on fire, then you’re doing it wrong.

But yes, men obviously cannae stand a girl with different taste, so what you need to do is prove that your music choices (and yourself, of course) are feminine and, at the same time, only as girly as is tolerable. Walk that tightrope (in heels) ladies! At the end of the day, if you’re permanently stuck in a posturing juvenile “Eww, girls are icky!” state of mind, then you’re not getting in my pants.

The thing I take most offense at, though, is the idea that Eminem is going to be the saviour of my romantic life. Quite apart from the suggestion that it shows I’m open minded and “aren’t easily offended”, which is simple code for “show him you wont get all uppity about sexism and women’s rights and all that nonsense”, Eminem is shite. If anybody’s going to try and use hip hop to get in my pants, I want it to a) be something  that’s actually decent and b) for them to make a sort of seductive/humorous mating dance at me while it’s on. Observe Mr. Lif in action – RAH!

4. A great pick up line…and a way to blow ‘em off

In this post-chivalrous period, we can’t always depend on guys to initiate contact, so prepare thyself with one simple, non-cheesy icebreaker to lay on that cutie who’s making his way to your area of the bar. Our favourite: “Hi. Having fun?” (Though a friend of mine has recently taken to asking well-dressed men, “Hetero, homo or metro?”) And in cases when a guy initiates contact and you’re not interested, better have a better blow-off than “Ummmm, no…” Our suggestion: “Sorry, I don’t think the guy I’m seeing would appreciate it.” Sure, it’s a lie, but it’ll let him down easy—without destroying his ego or making him think you’re a jerk.

I’m not sure I’d name her super effective “pick-up line” as such; more like normal human conversation. Also, her pal is a fucking idiot and there’s not much more that needs to be said. Where she learned that it was appropriate to ask a complete stranger their sexual orientation (before you’ve said hello!) I’ll never know. If I was a guy and a woman came up to me givin it “Hetero, homo or metro?” I’d be telling her that I was Anyone But You-sexual. As my boyfriend said upon reading this article “Apparently, putting moisturiser on counts as a sexuality but being bi doesn’t.”

I would, however, like to congratulate Amy on the revolutionary idea of telling a pushy guy that you’re seeing someone. This has never been tried before by any woman, and I am practically shitting myself with excitement as I text my ‘girlfriends’ the idea RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Bonus points for the lament for chivalry. Everything was so much better when men just picked us like the delicate flowers we are!

5. A six pack of good bottled beer

A prepared single girl is ready to host and toast at any time. If you want to make a guy-guest feel at home and your girlfriends feel special, skip the mass-produced swill and try some of the more exotically-named tipples.

See what they did there? Good beer will make a guy feel at home (he’s being accorded the appropriate level of respect, after all) but will make your ‘girlfriends’ (I get that heteronormativity is a given here but girlfriend does not mean to me what it means to them) feel all special as you’re lavishing them with a special treat. IF YOU CAN ONLY AFFORD A SIX POUND EIGHT PACK OF CARLSBERG EXPORT THEN NOBODY WILL EVER LOVE YOU, YOU FAILURE!

6. Bathroom Reading

What man doesn’t appreciate finding interesting reading in his sweetie’s bathroom? So instead of tossing out your magazines when you’re done reading them, toss them into a basket by the toilet. No need to go overboard with a stack of Sports Illustrated (if you don’t follow sports, that would just be weird) but consider The Week or even Cosmopolitan (hey, this may be the only time he’s a captive audience and can learn a few things). Or, just buy a book that’s made for the bathroom, like Schott’s Original Miscellany by Ben Schott so he can learn a few things about shoelace lengths and sign language while he passes the, uh, time.

Aye, keeping sport magazines around if you don’t like sport – that’s what’s weird. See if you want a guy that you’re seeing to “learn a few things” because, clearly, you’re not happy with some aspect of your relationship or his shagging prowess, then how about talking to him like a grown up? Or, you could follow Amy’s advice and  just make him a prisoner of his own shit and get him to read a really, really awful magazine that makes money out of the same one hundred constantly recycled, ridiculous ’sex secrets’. The only thing this tactic is going to get out of a suggestible boyfriend is him making a comical attempt at shagging in the sea while you lie on a lilo. And yes, Cosmopolitan really DO recommend that.

7. A business card

After the age of 18, it’s no longer cute to scrawl your first name and phone number on a napkin and hand it to a man who wants to call you. So if your job doesn’t provide a card or you’d prefer one with your personal email address and phone number on it, then have some made up. A napkin he can lose. A card he’ll file and keep.

Yes Amy, I have in fact found it hard to get a business card out of the dole, and I have contemplated having a personal card made up! But wouldn’t you know it, nobody will make me one that has just the right amount of glitter on it. Oh, and I’m bone shit poor. Quite apart from the fact that this must have is a load of  ridiculous middle/upper class frippery, has Amy ever heard of a mobile phone? Folks, when was the last time that you actually had to take someone’s number down on a bit of paper? For me, it was when I was seventeen, didn’t have a mobile on me and was firing into this guy I’d just been at a sweaty Barras gig with. And nobody I know, if they’re after someone’s phone number, is about to start scrutinising the medium it comes in unless the person they’re chasing insists on carving it into their arm with a stanley knife. In short; lol.

8. Earplugs

Ah, there’s nothing sweeter than a man who wants to cuddle up with you in bed for a long night’s sleep. Unless—SNZZGGHGHRRJJZZZ!—he snores so loudly you can’t get any sleep. Prepare thyself for surprise snorers with a pair of earplugs stashed in your nightstand.

Congratulations Amy. Two pieces of inanimate foam are the least offensive thing in your whole article.

9. A straight male friend on your speed-dial

Every girl knows she needs a gay male friend she can go to for fashion advice (a personal Queer Eye for Your Closet). But when it comes to relationship advice, you need another source. While your female friends may have good intentions, if you really want to know if you should call that guy, save the guesswork and go to someone who’s been there, done that.

Let’s back up here Amy. EVERY single girl KNOWS that she needs a gay man accessory to give her fucking fashion advice? Yes Amy, gay men are just accessories for your straight, fun and giggly single life, and couldn’t possibly be actual people who aren’t interested in being your simpering pet, couldn’t give a shit about what you’re wearing and do not, in fact, think that you are just fabulous. Once, at a particularly good party, I ended up falling into the stoned and drunk “I love you man!” speechifying trap and wound up telling a pal of mine (a GAY pal of mine!) how much I liked hanging about with him. I do remember complimenting him on his personality and being quality company, but I cannot recall declaring at any point “You’re a really great friend because you love the cock!” Know why? Because I’m not a ragingly offensive halfwit.

Of course, Amy knows the limitations of her personal gay. They’re no use when it comes to relationship advice, because what could gay men possibly know about going out with guys? Women are no help either, for reasons which Amy fails to specify. I imagine, though, that it has something to do with them being silly ladies who know nothing of the mysteries of man’s alien mind. I’d suggest that Amy saves herself some time, follows her own mad logic and gets herself a bisexual guy best friend, but then we all know that bisexuals are icky weirdos, and you can’t trust them not to try and get in your pants any more than you can trust them not to hump that ripe mango you’ve got sitting in your fruit bowl. Skip in to about the 2:50 mark in this god awful clip from fucking Sex and the City for a great example of the common currency in mainstream thought on bisexual folks, AKA the Fuckhead Dollar. As for bi women and lesbians, well they don’t even exist in Amy’s world.

10. A condom

Hey ladies, you know the drill by now. If you want to be able to have spontaneous fun of the bodily kind, you have to prepare for it yourself. You can’t always count on him to have something in his back pocket—or a 24-hour garage on the route home. (Your new mantra: If you don’t want it to break, you buy it.)

I’d like to give you a pass for ending your article with sensible advice, Amy, I really would (well no I wouldn’t but stay with me here) but it just can’t make up for all the total pish you’ve spewed above. Plus, you stick with your fake, overly pally and condescending tone right the way to end, and deploy the absolutely appalling turn of phrase “spontaneous fun of the bodily kind”.

So, Amy Spencer, for making me want to vomit more than I could ever eat, I welcome you to Knobhead’s Corner! TA-DA!

Starbuck will present you with your prize!

So asks the BBC, and then gives us a handy hint as to their opinion with the photo they choose to illustrate this feature. Why, it’s because their emotional lady parts decide who they’re voting for, not like strong rational men, and they will vote according to which candidate a babby takes a shine to. Personally, my ladyparts say that Baby Number 1 looks like it’s appealing to a handy grownup to stop Gordon Brown eating their head in one big bite, and Baby Number 2 looks like it’s disgusted yet fascinated with the almost amphibious slime covering Cameron’s face.