Party leaders give their final pitch

In a last desperate push for votes, the Brown and Cameron today made attempts at inspiring speeches to show us their vision for Britian. First up, David Cameron: Meanwhile, Gordon Brown, clearly feeling the pressure, and tired and emotional, appeals for a sympathy vote: All these via Speech Breaker.

Help me David Cameron, you're . . .

The Sun’s front page today (above) is a the final showcase they have to try and desperately push for a Tory government. Leftfield has said consistently that the best thing we can hope for out of this election is a hung parliament. Nobody knows for sure how tonight is going to turn out. A strong [...]

A Thought For Polling Day on 6 May, 2010

This election, we are told, is an election of ‘change’. All parties want it. After thirteen years of New Labour, a change of Government seems likely. But will anything actually change? Yesterday, David Miliband in the Daily Telegraph said that the next parliament would see more New Labour MPs elected than in 1997. The Conservatives’ [...]

Liveblog Round 4: The Final Countdown…

The final leader’s debate is TONIGHT and we will once more be bringing you all the best bits LIVE. Tonight’s debate is meant to be about economic affairs. It will probably just be deja vu all over again as we see the three stooges squabble amongst themselves over who can be the most right-wing and [...]

Gordon Brown lays an egg of solid fuck

Catastrofuck in the government! Today, Prime Minister Gordon Brown made a huge cock up when he, after being filmed talking to an OAP about her concerns (her pension, her grandkid’s uni debt, the Eastern Europeans..) was then caught on microphone in his car calling her a “bigoted woman”. This issue is a bit delicate. Undoubtedly [...]

SSY's knob joke of the day

You know Labour cabinet power-couple Yvette Cooper and Ed Balls? You know why Yvette never took her husband’s name when they got married? Nah, it wasn’t anything to do wi her dislike of patriarchy. It’s cause if she had, you know what she’d be called? Y’vette Balls. (If you don’t get it, you’re probably no Scottish. Joke [...]

Liveblog round 2: Who the fuck are these people?

Are you watching the Scottish Leaders’ Election debate tonight? We thought not. But SSY plans to repeat our feat of last week by bringing you LIVEBLOGGING action of ‘Scotland Debates,’ and in the process doubling STV’s viewing figures! Why are we so sure that there’ll be so few watching? Well let’s start the fact that [...]

British electoral system officially mad.

Ever since the earth-shaking political atom bomb that was last weeks Leaders Debate – which SSY dissected in characteristic form – the polls have been turned upside down. Nick Clegg has almost singlehandedly taken the Libdems from third place to pushing the Tories for first. The Libdems have been scrutinised more than at any time [...]

LIVEBLOG: History in the Making… NOOOOT!

TONIGHT! LIVE! The SSY newsdesk brings you a blow by blow account of all the fucking THRILLING developments in the first of three US-style televised UK party leaders’ debates. What we want to know is, where’s oor Colin? He’d jazz the place up wi his funky earrings and tartan troosers. 8.35 – Gordon Brown is [...]

PAEDO BIKINI BULLSHIT EXPOSED!!!

Primark’s secret plot to make little girls more appealing to paedophiles has been revealed, thanks to fearless journalism by The Sun. They reported that “Primark bosses invite parents to send out girls of seven dressed as sex objects to be leered at by paedophiles,” after it was revealed that Primark have a range of swimwear [...]