Willie Walsh demands right to control life and death

In yet another example of rich people thinking that what is best for their wallet is best for everyone, British Airways boss Willie Walsh has today criticised the government for daring to cost his airline some money by not letting him fly through VOLCANIC FUCKING ASH. Members of the International Airline Association, i.e. a lot [...]

Posted by Sarah on April 19th, 2010 | 2 Comments Posted in Uncategorized

LIVEBLOG: History in the Making… NOOOOT!

TONIGHT! LIVE! The SSY newsdesk brings you a blow by blow account of all the fucking THRILLING developments in the first of three US-style televised UK party leaders’ debates. What we want to know is, where’s oor Colin? He’d jazz the place up wi his funky earrings and tartan troosers. 8.35 – Gordon Brown is [...]

Posted by Sarah on April 15th, 2010 | 15 Comments Posted in Uncategorized

Wait… is "evil twin" still the correct term if they're BOTH evil?

On Saturday 10th April, the world suffered one of the greatest losses of the 21st century. The Polish President, Lech Kaczy?ski, was killed in a horrific plane crash. Now who is going to fight against those pesky gay pride paraders promoting a homosexual lifestyle and offending public morals? Who is going to take a stand [...]

Posted by TheWorstWitch on April 12th, 2010 | 3 Comments Posted in Uncategorized

David Cameron steals SSP policies.

Who’d have thunk it eh, not only is Gordon Brown a closet Marxist but it turns out the ideas of Socialism have now penetrated the Tory opposition as well. As soon as Maggie took her eye off the ball, we managed to plant our people in the Conservative party and convince them that they had [...]

Posted by Andy Bowden on April 9th, 2010 | 1 Comment Posted in Uncategorized

Official position on death of Terreblanche

As the SSP candidate for Glasgow Central, I feel the burden of being an official member of civil society. To my mind, the norm when a prominent death occurs is for the media to do the rounds of Important People, gathering their balanced reactions. In order to assist our friends in the press, I have [...]

Posted by James N on April 4th, 2010 | No Comments Posted in Uncategorized

Fookn nasty South African racist killed.

SSY has a long and proud record of celebrating when fascists die in embarrassing and or unfortunate circumstances. Whether it’s the sad loss of BNP founder John Tyndall (we coincidentally had a BBQ the day he popped his clogs – remember Tyndall burgers?), homophobic Austrian Fuhrer Jorg Haider who killed himself in a car crash [...]

Posted by Andy Bowden on April 4th, 2010 | 41 Comments Posted in Uncategorized

World outraged at claims Saint Bob didn't solve all Africa's problems

The world has watched in horror as the outrageously corrupt BBC and Channel 4 has attempted to make the ludicrous claim that there are still problems in Africa. Sensible people everywhere know that Africa is now a paradise thanks to the efforts of their saviour, multi-millionaire Saint Sir Bob Geldof the Wonderful. Sir Bob has [...]

Posted by Jack on April 3rd, 2010 | 5 Comments Posted in Uncategorized

"Straight talking" from Nigel Farrage

Anybody who will take pleasure in seeing UKIP leader Nigel Farrage getting the pish utterly ripped out of him will enjoy the latest episode of Have I Got News For You. Watch it here, and make sure to stay tuned for a classic Kilroy clip and details of UKIP’s new super sexy line of dressing [...]

Posted by Squeak on April 2nd, 2010 | 5 Comments Posted in Uncategorized

Stuff your Crown Powers!

As Britain is gearing up for the most important election in decades, it’s also the most closely fought. Successive opinion polls have shown that it is unlikely any party will have an overall majority to govern – that either means working as a minority Government, or one in coalition. This has an obvious disadvantage, that [...]

Posted by Andy Bowden on March 31st, 2010 | 1 Comment Posted in Uncategorized

The Billionaire Brothers behind climate change denial

A major investigation by Greenpeace has revealed what we always knew: climate change denial is a well funded conspiracy, centered on oil corporations. In recent years, there’s been a lot of focus on the role of companies like Exxon in funding organisations that spread lies and propaganda to undermine climate science. But even their contributions [...]

Posted by Jack on March 30th, 2010 | 1 Comment Posted in Uncategorized
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