Here come the Gards, so put yer half ounce up yer arse

At long long last, SSY’s favourite comedy hip hop outfit The Rubberbandits are getting the recognition beyond their Limerick empire that they deserve. Their single Horse Outside looks set to beat boring X Factor winner Lazy Decorator to the Irish Christmas number 1 spot.  They’ve earned the support of Fianna Fail politician and erstwhile hash dealer Willie O’Dea, Minister for Gee. They are no doubt knee deep in fanny as we speak.

But you don’t reach great heights without making a few enemies. Not everyone in Ireland has fallen in love with the charm and wit of the Bandits when they croon that they’d quite like to invite a hot bridesmaid back to a hotel for a finger and a shift.

The Bandits have found themselves subject to *crucial investigative journalism* determined to unmask these plastic bag-wearing, yoke-dropping foes. Irish papers have revealed their names, former schools, and the streets that they grew up on. The Daily Mail even printed pictures of Mr Chrome and Blindboy Boat Club’s lovely faces which you can click through to if you must, defeating the point of the comedy disguises and attempting to ruin a bit of the oul Bandits magic.

In an astounding feat of missing the point, the media have insisted on playing out a false dichotomy argument over whether the Bandits are too middle class to be rapping about drugs n horses, or if they are in fact glorifying the madcap drug-taking n horse-riding based lives of Limerick’s working classes.

Joe Duffy’s Liveline hosted a radio debate on the subject, which got off to a cracking start when Duffy asked Blindboy Boat Club if he could “talk properly” -- apparently Limerick accents don’t make good radio copy. Willie O’Dea was on hand to defend what is after all a piece of comedy and should be treated as such. What ensued was an argument where Blindboy proved himself to be someone who is clever and thoughtful and clearly takes genuine pride in creating art. ‘Antony’, the naysayer, proved himself to be a bit of an idiot, with exchanges such as:

Antony: What’s coming out of that video is the usage and promotion of drugs. It’s a joke!

Blindboy: It is a joke, yeah! You’ve hit the nail on the head there, kid

BANDIT BLASPHEMERS

Blindboy carefully explains that, just like Father Ted repackaged the false images of ‘thick Irish people’ that Brits had in the 90s and sold it back to Britain in the form of comedy, the Bandits’ songs and live shows where they talk about Limerick youth culture and subculture are not promoting a bad image of Limerick like is being claimed, but rather are lampooning the image of Limerick presented in the Irish media. But the point isn’t even that. They’re not doing what they do with the set goal of specific social commentary. They’re creating their art based on what they experience and what strikes them as funny and what they want to create, and as artists it’s their absolute right to define what they do on their own terms. You can’t take a piece of art or a joke or a song in isolation and apply your own meaning to it and then go ranting about how immoral it is. The rules of acceptableness that are placed on society are fucking arbitrary pish, so we love the Rubberbandits for defending themselves in a good natured way against daft conservative humourless wankers.

Here in the Scottish Socialist Youth we’ve taken some amount of pelters in the past for our pish-taking attitude towards serious issues. Take for example our  treatment of the serious matter of former Glasgow City Council leader Steven Purcell’s “chemical dependency” and corruption. It’s how we choose to get our message across, because a) sometimes if you don’t laugh you’d cry, and b) we are ordinary young people who are able to see the funny side of things and we shouldn’t fucking have to apologise for that. We’ve also been criticised for not following the conventional rules of behaviour, such as being outspoken with our views on drugs (which shamefully seem to chime with scientific advice, but not government policy) -- that harmful drugs like heroin should be provided safely to addicts on prescription, while recreational drugs should be decriminalised and perhaps even enjoyed from time to time. Crack open a bag o yokes and pass us a big fat J -- we’re OUT OF CONTROL! Our former MSP Rosie Kane got pelters too for wearing jeans to the opening of Parliament in 2003 -- it’s this fucking snobby attitude that you have to respect these ridiculous ‘rules’ invented by rich white guys to keep order or you can’t be sincere in your message. Basically, we understand where the Bandits are coming from and we respect their right to make all the satirical music they want.

Not for the first time, Blindboy has been forced to explain the concepts of ‘the unreliable narrator‘, ’self-mocking’ and ‘having a sense of humour’ to po-faced kneejerk critics. When they put out their hilarious satire on armchair Republicanism, Up Da Ra, they were forced to defend themselves against accusations that they were disrespecting the memory of those who died for Irish freedom. It’s just balls.

At one point in the debate there’s a funny exchange where someone texts in to highlight the line in Horse Outside where Mr Chrome sings “I don’t pay no tax, fuck NCT”, with Willie O’Dea saying that they probably don’t earn enough to pay tax. Blindboy replies “that’s true!” It probably is true yunno, but there’s a spectacular sense of humour failure if you can’t understand that YOU’RE NOT REQUIRED TO PAY CAR TAX ON HORSES.

You can hear the full debate here:

This incredibly stupid argument on the virtues or otherwise of the Rubberbandits in the Irish Herald states that the “so-called band, the members of which remain unidentified but seem to get a kick out of dressing up like sinister masked Provos from the 1970s, extolling the virtues of drugs and the former Minister for Defence,” are basically evil. Lololololol, I don’t think I ever saw a picture of a man with an inside-out Spar bag on his head on TV accompanying an actor’s voice representing Gerry Adams, but maybe I’m mistaken and Martin McGuinness actually struck a six figure fashion advertising deal with Spar throughout the Troubles. The author, Sinead Ryan, is a prize chumpo who attempts to argue that artists aren’t allowed to define their own art, and that because the song wasn’t allowed on the radio unless they changed the word “fuck” to “suck” throughout that this means they are sell-outs who can’t call themselves artists. As Blindboy said “I’m an artist, but I looooove money, like Andy Warhol”. Clearly, Sinead Ryan has never had to worry about money, or wanted her work to reach a wider audience, or seen the comedy value in taking the fucking piss right out of the established channels of promoting pish identikit music. Sinead, chill the fuck out. It’s SATIRE. If you don’t like the “sinister” Bandits, fuck off and listen to Daniel O’Donnell.

Anyone who can seriously watch a funny song -- about using your ownership of a horse advantageously to get yer hole -- shoot up the charts and denounce all its fans as impressionable idiots who are incapable of understanding irony really doesn’t deserve a media platform for their shite views. The Rubberbandits are truly something special. They are intelligent, danceable, singalong-friendly and most importantly, fucking funny. They’re welcome to play to an SSY-filled audience in Glasgow any time, chalk it down.

And here’s the offending video:

Bonus treats: Read the rest of this entry »

We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight the Taliban

Today is Remembrance Sunday, a day when we stop for a moment of silence, or watch veterans’ parades, or wear red poppies on our tops “to commemorate the contribution of British and Commonwealth military and civilian servicemen and women in the two World Wars and later conflicts”.

It was originally named the Earl Haig Appeal after the man who caused tens of thousands of needless deaths in World War I. There is nothing to celebrate about the first World War. It was a completely unjustified war for colonies, wealth and markets.

Today, Remembrance Sunday is basically a state-enforced institution, where criticism and dissent of the principle of celebrating this is not on any level tolerated, and this year it has reached fever pitch. Virtually every UK citizen is subjected to a form of hysterical bullying to participate. No one is allowed to be featured on the BBC unless they are wearing a red poppy, all political leaders wear them -- even if it deeply offends the people that they are visiting -- and children are forced to buy and sell them in schools.

This year, it has arrived in a fanfare of glitz and glamour, with the commercialisation of Poppy Day more noticeable than ever before. The Saturdays opened the ‘celebrations’ in London this year, inexplicably. On The X Factor, that barometer of our society’s values, the judges wore £84.99 diamond encrusted poppies, bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘conflict diamonds’. (This is of course unfair, we all know that Cheryl Cole has a deep sympathy and understanding for the sacrifices made at Ypres and the Somme, and is an avid fan of the poetry of Siegfried Sassoon and Wilfred Owen). Obviously you’ve got to spend more to remember more.

At the heart of the “celebrations” this year has been the commodification of wholesale slaughter and the monetization of mass murder. The poppy has become a fashion statement, one that’s supposed to display your commitment to Britain, to ‘our heroes’ and to the continued fetishisation of the ‘glory’ of war. Wearing a poppy for many people is genuinely about remembering those who were forcefully drafted against their will into a horrific world war, but you can now buy t-shirts that proclaim ‘I *poppy* our heroes”. In today’s world, the ‘heroes’ fixation is a direct endorsement of the imperialist and unjust wars Britain is still undertaking in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Earl Haig: how can he be a hero? He doesn't even have any superpowers. Get back to us when you've been bitten by a radioactive spider.

Another reason people buy poppies and the various new related merchandise is because the poppy fund is a charity which provides for veteran soldiers. It’s an indictment of our fucked up priorities that we expend so much energy talking about how much we value the heroism of fighting for Britain in wars, yet it’s left to a charity to provide for those who have survived them. One in eleven prisoners in the UK formerly served in the armed forces. Up to a quarter of homeless people are former servicemen and women. There are countless veterans suffering from mental health issues who aren’t receiving proper support (although at least we no longer execute returned soldiers for suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder like we used to). The politicians that brandish their poppies are directly responsible for this -- they don’t actually care about veterans -- they prefer the idea of veterans to the reality of what life is like for those who have seen the horrors of war. The poppies they wear allow them to justify their inaction. It shouldn’t be left to charity donations to pay to look after veterans.

Here at SSY, we don’t agree with glorifying war and British imperialism. The actions of British troops today in Afghanistan and Iraq are far from heroic. For decades, the memory of the evils of fascism has been used to justify other imperialist conflicts which are in no way comparable, e.g. Kenya (even today, British forces based in Kenya for training continue to rape local women with impunity, which has been going on for three decades; these women are slandered by the British, and rejected by their own communities as well), Malaya, Yemen and Ireland. Remembrance Day, alongside the far more blatant Armed Forces Day, has been hijacked to promote and endorse the militarisation of British life and to encourage young people to sign up, for the “glory” of being remembered as a “hero” after you’ve been blown to bits fighting for the geopolitical and ideological aims of the elite who will never represent you.

We’re not the only ones who don’t appreciate every part of the message of the ideology of Remembrance Day. Legitimate dissent is not tolerated when it comes to Poppy Day -- just look at the recent “ban sick bastards” style headlines when the Green Brigade, a left-wing Celtic fan group had a half time banner display in protest at the club’s decision to impose a poppy on the Celtic shirt, going against the wishes of the majority of fans. In Glasgow, it’s fair to say that there’s a lot of people who don’t appreciate being forced to participate in a celebration of British troops who caused misery in the north of Ireland for so many years. Like SSY, the Green Brigade has no problem with the individual choice to wear a red poppy, but rather to the bullying nature of the political campaign which expects everyone to wear poppies and to support the cause without reservation.

On a state visit to China last week, David Cameron and pals caused offence by wearing the poppy, without thinking of the fact that in the 19th Century British forces went to war with China to force them to accept imports of our opium (which is of course derived from poppies). This is a clear example of why a little bit more historical memory about the role of British forces and the British Empire in the world is necessary. The peoples who were wronged by Britain haven’t forgotten, even if we have.

This is what our generation does to remember the war dead. Not in our name, we don't want it to happen again

An official alternative to the poppy cult is the White Poppy Campaign, advocated by the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament (CND). The idea is to remember the deaths of all who have died in wars, not just soldiers, and to advocate peace, not militarisation. This campaign has not been without controversy. In 1986, Maggie Thatcher (gonny just die already?) expressed her “deep distaste” for the white poppy symbol, and their spread in Canada has proved contentious to the point of being banned from being sold at markets and has drawn public criticism from the Royal Canadian Legion. You’re unlikely to see a white poppy on tv, where red poppies are ubiquitous throughout November.

The above views might seem controversial to some, but this year, veterans (and even the Queen’s composer) have spoken out against the use of the red poppy as a “political tool”. Former SAS soldier Ben Griffin rightly stated that

“Calling our soldiers heroes is an attempt to stifle criticism of the wars we are fighting in.

It leads us to that most subtle piece of propaganda: You might not support the war but you must support our heroes, ergo you support the war.”

Remembrance Day should be about honouring those who died needlessly in needless wars. The best way to honour the dead, and the point of remembering, is to ensure it never happens again. Anti-militarism and dissent against war is the way to honour those people, not diamond encrusted poppies, military parades and the stifling of dissent. As a youth organisation, we are proud of our record of opposing military recruitment and the lies spread to young working class folk to persuade them to become cannon fodder for the imperialist war machine that is the British Army.

Last word goes to the late Harry Patch, the last surviving person to have served in World War I

“Irrespective of the uniforms we wore, we were all victims.”

Union map of where there were strikes and protests yesterday

You might not have noticed yesterday, what with the UK news much more concerned about what high paid cushy job David Miliband will be getting next, but across Europe millions of people were on strike and in the streets to protest the austerity policies of the EU governments.

Just like the ConDem government here, governments all across the European Union are making massive attacks on the working class, such cutting spending on vital services, taking away workers’ rights, throwing people out of work and generally making Europe a much more shite place to live.

Around 100,000 people took part in a Europe-wide demo in Brussels demanding an end to austerity policies. Delegations from 30 different countries are thought to have taken part. There’s some footage of it below:

There’s some great photos from the Brussels demo here, but a particular favourite of mine is these two who dressed up to take the piss out of right wing French President Sarkozy and his wife Carla Bruni:

Mr and Mrs Sarkozy

Meanwhile, in Spain there was a general strike, with 10 million people refusing to go to work in protest at the supposedly “Socialist” (the Spanish Socialist Party are more like New Labour) government, particularly plans to make it easier to sack workers and reduce the amount of compensation they’re entitled to. Protesters in Madrid went into any workplaces that were still open to hand out pamphlets and call on workers to join them, as well as blocking one of the main shopping streets the Gran Via. Throughout the different countries and regions that make up the Spanish state there were demonstrations taking place, and cops were used to break up picket lines, as you can see in this photo from Santiago de Compostela in Galicia.

Here’s some footage as well of the protests in Huelva, Andalusia:

In Barcelona, riot cops attacked and beat protesters, who fought back by torching one of their cars:

Update from a comrade in Barcelona: “Protesters completely occupied the headquarters of a major bank, and set up 2 huge speakers from the balcony which they used to give a running commentary of events onto the street, and somehow jammed the frequency of a local radio station so that it broadcast their speeches instead, clever stuff.

Nearby, a police car was set on fire.  Riot police responded shortly afterwards by charging into the crowd and lashing out indiscriminately with batons, which I suppose was ‘revenge’ for the burnt car.”

In Ireland protesters gathered in Dublin to mark the return of the Dáil (Irish parliament) into session. The Irish government is hugely unpopular for its austerity plans, and has spent €25 billion on bailing out banks. This morning came the news that the government is saying it will have to spend €35 billion just on bailing out the Anglo Irish bank. In the photo below you can see what people think about that:

The flyer for the protests in Dublin can be seen here. As part of the action, a cement mixer with “Toxic Bank” painted on the side was driven into the gates of the Irish parliament.

In Greece, although the “mainstream” unions hadn’t called for a strike, public transport workers, doctors and dockers came out anyway. This follows on from the ongoing lorry drivers’ strike, which has seen supermarkets start to run short of supplies.

In Portugal 50,000 people marched in Lisbon and another 20,000 in Porto.

Here in Scotland the Scottish Trade Union Congress‘ “There is a Better Way” campaign did have a number of events to mark the Europe wide day of action. But what more can we do to try and catch up with our European friends? A good starting point would be getting yourself along to the street rally against the cuts organised in Glasgow this Saturday from trade union groups across the country. It probably won’t be on the scale of some of the protests seen above, but right now all across Europe it’s about kickstarting a movement that will show the governments and capitalists we aren’t going to accept paying the bill for their fuck ups. The rally meets at 12 at Buchanan Street subway.

One aim of the rally against the cuts is to try and build momentum for the all Scotland demonstration called by the STUC for October 23rd in Edinburgh (Facebook event here). It’s really important that both the Scottish and British government see there’s a real mood in Scotland to fight back against the cuts, especially from young people who already are suffering completely disproportionately from unemployment and the effects of the capitalist crisis.

Michael O’Leary is the head of Ryanair, one of the richest men in Ireland, and loves nothing more than seeing his own name in the papers. The main job he does for his company is making ridiculous public statements about what cheapskates Ryanair are, like that they might start charging you to use the toilet in flight, or that they’ll have a “fat tax” for larger passengers.

The reason he does this is to make everyone who reads his wacky ideas think “Fucking hell, Ryanair are cheapskate bastards.” Although maybe this will mean you hate him and his company, you will associate it in your mind with cheapness, and check their site first when you’re going away. His whole public persona is built around basically saying to people “I am a total dick, and YOU FUCKING LOVE IT.” He calls it his “dog and pony show.”

It isn’t just an act though. He actually is a knobhead. Although he likes to paint himself as some kind of champion of the common man, but he attended Clongowes public school, described as “the Eton of Ireland.” He’s tried to completely ban trade unions from representing Ryanair staff -- the Irish union Impact say they have 270 outstanding cases of victimising and bullying. Staff have to pay for their own uniforms, training and meals, and office staff have to supply their own pens and are banned from charging their phones at work. He wants total deregulation of the airline industry, meaning your safety at 40,000 feet is in the hands of total free market gangsters -- he described the British Airports Authority as “overcharging rapists.”

It’s not just staff he bullies as well -- in 2002 a woman who won free flights for life as Ryanair’s millionth customer was awarded €67,500 damages after a judge found she’d been abused and bullied when she tried to complain that she’d started being charged again.

On top of all this he’s also a climate change denier, a position that makes quite a lot of sense for the head of a rapidly expanding airline. “Do I believe there is global warming? No, I believe it’s all a load of bullshit,” he said. Scientists argue there is global warming because they wouldn’t get half of the funding they get now if it turns out to be completely bogus. It’s horsehit.” Yes Michael, it makes total sense for scientists to make up something that runs counter to the interests of almost everyone with money, and who would have a vested interest in influencing research. Scientists give factual scientific opinions, not ones tailored to suit an agenda like you do.

In 2004 he bought a taxi license for his private Mercedes so he could drive it through Dublin bus lanes. As he put it to one interviewer: “I don’t give a shite if nobody likes me.”

His latest brainwave really takes the biscuit though. Last week he went on record saying Ryanair might get rid of co-pilots. Instead he said, if anything happens to the pilot a member of cabin crew can take over because “computers do most of the flying now.”

This may be a step too far for Ryanair passengers. The idea of sitting in a giant metal box a couple of miles in a sky that’s being controlled someone who’s training mainly covers flogging smokeless cigarettes and scratch cards. But Michael tried to re-assure us with the claim “”In 25 years with over about 10m flights, we’ve had one pilot who suffered a heart attack in flight and he landed the plane.”

Not Hogwarts, but Clongowes, the incredibly posh public school where O'Leary went

Which, unsurprisingly, turns out to be TOTAL BOLLOCKS. In a response letter to the Financial Times, Capt. Evan Cullen, President of the Irish Airline Pilot’s Association, spoke up on behalf of the pilot in question’s family, who were quite upset by O’Leary’s claims. The reason they were upset is because the guy in question did actually die. He didn’t get proper help from the cabin crew quickly enough because Ryanair hadn’t trained them in what to do if the pilot was incapacitated (I bet they’ll train them to LAND A PLANE th0ugh.) When doctors finally made it to the cockpit they declared the pilot clinically dead. They managed to revive him after “strenuous effort” but he later died. It may shock you to learn this guy did not land the plane, on account of being dead.

More importantly, what the incident in question does illustrate is the absolute necessity of co-pilots. Although the pilot was clinically dead, the plane landed safely because it had a co-pilot who was able to take over. There is a reason that when you go up in the sky you have a back-up in case anything goes wrong with the main person keeping you all from crashing into the ground.

As Capt. Cullen put it, in dead pan style, “That he [O'Leary] is prepared to make such statements while, apparently, not being fully briefed on these important safety matters is entirely consistent with Ryanair’s ‘innovative’ approach to staff relations, safety, pilot fatigue and related matters.”

But in an even better response, a senior Ryanair pilot came up with another suggestion to help the company save money. Capt. Morgan Fischer, who’s head of pilot training for the company, wrote:

“I would propose that Ryanair replace the chief executive with a probationary cabin crew member currently earning about €13,200 (£11,000) net a year. Ryanair would benefit by saving millions of euros in salary, benefits and stock options. Further, there will be no need to petition either Boeing or governmental aviation regulators for approval to replace the CEO with a cabin crew member; as such approval would not be required.”

We think this is a great idea, although we think that even then cabin crew/CEOs could be perhaps at least be paid a living wage. We’d much rather they were doing his job, which essentially involves being an arse in public on a regular basis, than flying planes. Straight off the bat this would save €241,000 in his salary, not to mention all the other money he rakes in from the company. It’s reckoned that he’s worth about €300 million, but nobody is sure. As he put it himself: “Money used to be my motivation. You always want to make the first million. Then you get to £10m and you think about £100m. But somewhere in the middle -- do not ask me where -- you stop worrying about money.” What a knob.

We doubt his cabin crew, existing on about £11,000 a year, have stopped worrying about money. Although we’ve been slagging the idea of cabin crew being made into pilots, that doesn’t mean we should disrespect the vital job they do, protecting people’s safety and making sure everything is ok in the body of the plane. The fact that on a Ryanair flight the main thing they have to do is sell stuff to you is an indictment of the company, not them, and they deserve Michael O’Leary’s millions much more than he ever will.

The Others are shocked by the consequences of Michael O’Leary’s penny pinching.

Glasgow City Council are poised to bring in new legislation that could effectively ban public processions and demonstrations from the city centre, among other draconian measures which together form an unashamed attack on democratic rights in the city. As we reported earlier this year, this comes as part of their much trumpeted drive  to cut down on the number of the sectarian parades in the city – which is reportedly higher than the annual total in Derry and Belfast combined.

Now the full extent of the council’s plans have been revealed in a consultation document sent this Monday to 29 ‘relevant stakeholders’, including SSY. Among the proposals are:

• to ban marches which would ’cause too much disruption or congestion’
• to develop ’standard procession routes which minimise disruption and congestion’
• to ban marches which  ’place an excessive burden on the police’
• march organisers will be ‘encouraged to consider alternatives to processions’
• no procession will be allowed to ‘become elongated by a formation of fewer than four abreast; a procession will not be allowed to move off until in the correct formation’
• all events with more than 1000 participants will ‘be required to assemble in a public park and progress to a public park’

The target of this is, we’re meant to assume, obviously the Orange Order, as well as their Protestant supremacist pals in the Black Institute and the Apprentice Boys of Derry, who together make up well over 200 of the city’s 370 odd marches each year. Certainly, everything in the consultation document points towards this – there’s even a couple of proposals thrown in there which specifically target these organisations, including a ban on carrying swords without prior permission. However, everything we’ve seen over the past year – since GCC initially announced their plans to slash the number of parades in the city ‘by up to ninety percent’ – indicates that this is far from the reality of the planned legislation.

Since this original announcement, several marches in Glasgow have indeed be rerouted. There was the 3000 strong Unison anti-cuts demonstration, forced to take place at 9.30 in the morning and squeezed out of the city centre. There was the EIS teachers’ union demo against cuts, 10,000 strong, again forced out of the city centre and to the earlier time of 10.30am. Then there was the 9000 strong Wave march calling for immediate action on Climate Change, forced despite protestations to take a route which again completely cut out the centre of the city. You might see a pattern developing here – this demo was pushed back to 10.30am too. These three marches, two called by trade unions and one by a grouping of NGOs, were hardly the most provocative, controversial or dangerous to take place in Glasgow over the year, yet all were denied their desired route and time. The council paper does in fact allude to these marches, as examples of ‘groups which are opting for alternatives to having processions through the city centre’. This is taking serious liberties, no pun intended, with the truth. Meanwhile, the Orange Lodge’s biggest event of the year – the ‘Big Walk’ in early July – was allowed to go ahead entirely unhindered, giving drunk, sectarian bigots ownership of the city centre for the whole day and making it an effective no-go area for anyone else. Nor has it stopped permission being granted to at least two provocative Orange marches directly through the Gallowgate over the past twelve months.

It all bears disturbing similarities to current goings-on in Northern Ireland, where the devolved government is currently attempting to push through a swathing attack on the right to protest, the Public Assembles Bill. Similarly, this is being done under the cloak of cutting down on sectarian parades. But as the coalition which has come together to oppose the Bill makes clear, it’s no coincidence that this has arisen at the same time as the worst attack on the working class since the creation of the welfare state: “The two main parties in the Assembly who have already agreed to make these cuts are also the two parties who sat down together and drafted this proposed legislation. The intention could not be clearer. The purpose of the law is to smash any possible opposition to the destruction of the public sector and the sacking of thousands of workers.”

Under the Bill, all public gatherings of more than fifty people will require permission with 37 days notice. Failure to comply will potentially lead to a prison sentence or hefty fine for all participants. Obviously, Glasgow City Council do not possess nearly the same level powers as the NI Assembly – and their consultation document bluntly makes clear that they’re stretching the boundaries of current Scottish, UK and European legislation to their very limits.

However, the document doesn’t shy away from revealing the council’s main agenda in putting forward this new policy on public parades. In fact, a whole section is entitled ‘City Centre Developments: the Changing Face of Glasgow’. Cue a list of major new “improvements” to the city centre over the past few years, among them the £100m extension to the  St Enoch’s shopping centre, the planned expansion of the Buchanan Galleries, the “award-winning” financial district at the Broomielaw, and “many other prestigious office developments”. It concludes that the importance of the city centre to ‘Glasgow’s economic prosperity’ rules it out as somewhere suitable for public processions. It might as well read: anyone expressing dissent to the neo-liberal restructuring and gentrification of Glasgow – can fuck off. It’s also worth noting that the paper bizarrely singles out the May Day demo in 2009 for special attention, claiming it was ‘particularly problematic’, involving a ‘day of protest in the city centre against capitalism and globalisation’. Were they on the same demo as us – all I remember is the usual tame procession from George Square to some equally boring rally at the Old Fruitmarket…

The next few years will bring a virtually unprecedented attack on the social wage of the working class. There’s already been broad speculation that cuts of 25% in state spending will bring what’s possible under a democratic system to its absolute limits. In Northern Ireland, the governing parties are doing the ConDem’s dirty work for them, severely limiting the right to express any kind of dissent.  The same can now be said, perhaps, of Glasgow’s Labour council.

The full consultation document can be viewed here

Nationalist youth hate the polis more than they love their bikes

Celtic fans take to the streets after hearing that the Holy Goalie has left

If you’ve seen News 24 over the past few days, you’ve probably noticed that something strange is afoot in Belfast: everyone’s been infected with the rage virus and started fighting with da cops, employing such deadly weapons as planks, slabs and bikes (decommissioning has hit them hard). What’s going on? Are these people born with an inherent genetic love of fighting? Do they just HATE da poleez?

According to British UK news coverage… YES, all of the above, and more. Never one to take what the television tells us at first hand, Leftfield decided to investigate for itself..

Read the rest of this entry »

Every now and then a musician or band comes along which redefines how we enjoy music, how it relates to our lives and how we interpret the world around us and the people who live in it with us. The Rubberbandits are not that band.

They are two guys from Limerick who wear plastic bags on their heads and sing songs about taking glue to enhance sexual activity and historical inaccuracies about Irish Republican history. They also do prank calls.

You’ll never feel the same once you find out the truth about how Eamon de Valera rode to London on the back of a harse to box the Queen into the jaw, as a symbol.

They’re really feckin funny and since Leftfield always likes to share the love, we suggest you czech them out, sham.

The Rubberbandits on Myspace.

Satire on armchair Republicanism:

She’s my queen and I’m her burger king:

Prank calls -- I think the dog got my mind pregnant:

(Most words by Andy Bowden)

First Gerry Adams reveals his father was a child abuser and calls for his brother to come out of hiding and hand himself in to the police. Now it’s been revealed a 19 year old toyboy has been firing into Iris Robinson, the Christian fundamentalist wife of Democratic Unionist Party First Minister Peter Robinson. And this is after the Robinsons were revealed to claim 30k in food costs as MP’s earning them the moniker “Swish Family Robinson”. The north is looking more and more like an episode of Hollyoaks every week, albeit with a couple of dodgy looking guys in the background with balaclavas setting off the odd bomb or two.
Its another fantastic step forward for the peace process. It’s now normalised the political set up in Northern Ireland to the extent that proper political scandals now consist of shagging and dodgy money on expenses instead of being former commanders of paramilitary organisations and trying to decapitate the British Government by blowing up hotels.

While folk on the Left enjoy the Swish Family Robinson’s comeuppance, we should take a look at the political situation in Northern Ireland after the Good Friday Agreement. A lot of people have had a distinct lack of sympathy for Iris’ predicament due to her own moralising in the past. She’s denounced gays not just as an “abomination” but also that said they were worse than child abusers, commenting that “There can be no viler act, apart from homosexuality and sodomy, than sexually abusing innocent children”. Her husband defended her, saying she was just echoing Christian scripture. None of this is that much of a surprise though, it was Ian Paisley who led the “Save Ulster from Sodomy” campaign against the legalisation of homosexuality.
The worst folk in the modern Tory party today can’t get away with anything close to the Robinson’s comments on gays and lesbians. Far from it, now they’re speaking at Stonewall demos and apologising for Clause 28. Even Nick Griffin can only shift uncomfortably in his seat and tell folk the gays make him a bit queasy. So why is it, after the supposed success of the peace process the DUP can not just get away with it, but be popular with it?

Northern Ireland is now the most right-wing part of the UK in terms of the politicians it elects. It’s the only part of the UK where full on Christian fundamentalism, the likes of which you get in the USA, can make hay. The gay bashing is just the tip of the iceberg. The Democratic Unionist Party, who Iris represents also have also called for teaching materials on creationism to be available in schools. Another of their MP’s, not to be outdone by Pete or Iris in the nutter stakes opposed letting Catholics become the Monarch as they owe their first allegiance to the Vatican. Which is of course in the same vein as Ian Paisley denouncing the pope as the antichrist in the European Parliament. If nothing else the DUP should be thanked for reminding Catholics in Scotland how they were treated when they were immigrants.

Alongside this favourable environment for the right is an extremely unfavourable one for the Left. While the SDLP and Sinn Fein have left of centre programmes (and in Sinn Fein’s case, anti-war and anti-imperialism) they make zero headway among the Protestant half of the working class in Ireland. This is in stark contrast to the movement in the Republic, which has seen success for former Socialist TD Joe Higgins in winning a Euro seat and decent votes for other Left groups like People Before Profit and the Unemployed Workers Group. Northern Ireland is also one of the few (if not the only) statelet in Western Europe not to have a mainstream political party which has it’s roots in the trade union movement.

You can see what the lack of a trade union based party means for US politics, and the same goes for Northern Ireland. Even if every party in Western Europe which used to give genuine political representation to Trade Unions has betrayed them, they at least contributed to the development of some basic progressive, Socialist and Left ideas in their countries, which the radical Left has in some cases been able to capitalise on. The lack of a political party representing trade unions in Northern Ireland is largely due to the fact that national and religious divisions are unfortunately much more important than class divisions when people take an interest in politics. Ultimately a political party in the North has to decide whether it is for a United Ireland or for the UK, and whichever decision is made will leave it isolated from one half of working people in the province.

Irish Socialist and Republican James Connolly had it spot on when he said that dividing Ireland “would mean a carnival of reaction both North and South, would set back the wheels of progress, would destroy the oncoming unity of the Irish labour movement and paralyse all advanced movements whilst it endured. To it labour should give the bitterest opposition, against it labour in Ulster should fight even to the death, if necessary, as our fathers fought before us.”
Creating Northern Ireland meant that one half of workers, Catholic and Republican would be pitted against the other Protestant and Loyalist half. Any attempts to foster class unity are made very difficult by an institutionalised sectarianism in Northern Ireland, which the peace process has not changed. Contrast this with the position in the Republic where the voting lines are not broken down between Catholic and Protestant, but where religion is largely irrelevant and left wing politics have an opening.

If Socialists are going to have an impact in Northern Ireland and roll back the power the DUP has it’s not just necessary to argue for a United Ireland so the political environment becomes more similar to that of the Republic. There needs to be some way of working with Protestant workers who the Left has not been able to attract because of its position on a United Ireland.
Connolly called Socialists who didn’t want to talk about the national question in Ireland were “Gas and water Socialists”, who only wanted to fight on issues surrounding the economy and poverty. But there should be some organisation uniting working people from both backgrounds in Northern Ireland even if it is just on those “gas and water” issues . Large sections of Protestants in the North will never agree with a United Ireland but many could support a campaign alongside Catholics for a decent minimum wage, defence of public services and workers rights. If even a small minority of Protestants came round to backing a United Ireland on a platform of workers rights, it would fundamentally change the political situation in the North.

As it is just now the Christian Right parties like the DUP are able to take them for granted largely on the basis that they are fighting for their communities interests against the Catholic community. One example of this was during last years Euro Elections were the DUP faced a challenge from Traditional Unionist Voice, a splinter of the DUP who split because the party went into Government with Sinn Fein. The DUP tried to maximise it’s vote by raising the danger of Sinn Fein topping the polls for the first time in Northern Ireland’s history (which they did). As the TUV pointed out, how could the DUP raise this as a nightmare when they were in Government with them?
The DUP didn’t try to defend their coalition with that argument, they fought to get more votes by raising the fear that the other community’s representatives would benefit. Now there are fears Sinn Fein could nominate a First Minister for Stormont if the DUP vote collapses due to the scandal. Expect the DUP to raise that nightmare a lot more than actually trying to defend the actions of their representatives.

The North is one of the poorest parts of the UK, with the spectacular levels of poverty, unemployment, crime and low pay. The DUP’s Christian fundamentalism do nothing to change or improve the lives of working class Protestants. All they do is keep them locked into a battle with the other half of the people, desperate to hold on to privileges they once held over Catholics – instead of demanding an increase in the quality of living for everyone in the North. As difficult as it is, the Left can improve the lives of working people if it is able to challenge the DUP on these issues without dropping a commitment to a United Ireland.