Avert thine innocent eyes.
Until about four hours ago, today was going rather well. That was until I read this piece of garbage and choked on my last dorito. Not only was I angry because a man with a face like a melted welly had ruined my final crisp but more importantly because such arrogant, self-righteous wankers are still allowed to publish articles blatantly sprouting their own shitey opinions on matters that don’t, and probably won’t ever personally affect them.
This toss pott, who more commonly goes by the name Brian Sewell, apparently believes that soaps are now only ‘Wall-to-wall gays, transsexuals, transvestites and teenage lesbians’ and that ‘the sane man may feel his nose is being rubbed in it.’ If by the sane man Sewell is reffering to himself alongside all other heterosexual males I seriously hope someone picks him up pronto and dumps him at the door of the nearest mental institution. It’d be for his, and more importantly, our own good.
I will now take great pleasure in ripping his piece of shit opinion to shreds.
- “For fully half a century, Coronation Street has formed the nation’s view of Lancashire. Life is gritty; men are tough; in their devious ways women have achieved equality — if not downright dominance — and society is sterlingly working-class.” - Women have reached equality? In fact scratch that.. apparently we’ve achieved dominance?! I’m not quite sure if I should piss myself laughing or throw something heavy in the general direction of his face. On the programmes own website I’m struggling to find a male character profile who’s ‘likes’ don’t consist of ‘The ladies’ whilst on the other hand I’m finding it even harder to find a female character who doesn’t like to either gossip or be noticed. Since obviously that’s all women live for after all.
- “Today, however, the soap that was once pure Salford…has departed from reality.” - For this I don’t even need to write my own response. The top comment on this atrocious article says it all. ‘Ha! One small northern cobbled street – multiple murders, numerous rapes, child abductions, serial affairs, crazy killers, tram explosions, factory fires – but the gradual introduction of a few gay characters suddenly makes it ‘unrealistic’? What planet is this guy living on? LOL!’
- “Today, all the characters are showered, prinked and perfumed — particularly the men.” - God. You can nearly feel his tears. WHAT THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED TO THE MANLY MAN?! Ehm. Whatever.
- “Are these well-washed denizens of the Street really the ordinary people there, leading their ordinary lives?” - Well let me see… since it’s a soap opera I highly doubt it. I don’t really think Corrie is an accurate view on a real place. So it’s probably not people leading their ordinary lives. Sorry to burst your wee happy Corrie bubble Brian. If I hadn’t used them all cleaning up the water I spat out whilst reading most of your comments I’d send you a tissue so you could dry your eyes. My apologies.
WRONG. AVERT THINE INNOCENT EYES.
“Is it true that the lives of heterosexual Mancunians are haplessly intertwined with transvestites, transsexuals, teenage lesbians and a horde of homosexuals across the age range?” - It might surprise you but members of the LGBT community exist alongside heterosexual ‘normal’ people. You see that’s the ‘beauty’ of the human race. We’re all different but inhabit the same place. Gay folk aren’t like lepers. They don’t form a community away from the ‘normal’ members of society in order to receive special anti homo treatments. Probably because there’s nothing to treat. I suggest you remove yourself from the windowless box you currently live in and open your fucking eyes.
- “Where once we had no gaiety at all, we now, perhaps, have rather too much.” - But of course heterosexual sex should be allowed to dominate our television for the rest of eternity. Unlike the gays, the straights obviously won’t harm our children.
“Among the main cast, we have lesbian teenagers Sophie Webster and her girlfriend Sian Powers…” - Okay. What’s out of the ordinary here? We have lesbian teenagers? Yes. Well done. You’ve established that people can know they’re gay from a young age. Kudos. It’s NORMAL.
“There’s also homosexual Sean Tully…who is set to tie the knot with boyfriend Marcus Dent later this year in what will be the show’s first civil partnership.” - Bet there wouldn’t be an issue if Sally was to marry Kev or whatever. But guess what. Men marrying men is NORMAL.
“And middle-aged cross-dresser Marc Selby who was involved in a love triangle with hairdresser Audrey Roberts and her glamorous friend Claudia Colby..” - The only thing that annoys me about this statement is that most trans or gay characters are always involved in storylines to do with three way relationships or anything else that can be deemed out of the ordinary. They’re never just allowed to exist for who they are. None the less the character is still NORMAL.
- “There are also countless peripheral gay characters” - There are also countless peripheral straight characters. FUCK ME. How am I meant to cope?
- “There’s too much, not only of gay men — who are estimated to make up just 6 per cent of the population, but who dominate the storylines in the soap — but also of lesbians, bisexuals, the trans-gender community, cross-dressers and everyone else with some sexual quirk or fetish.” - I’ve already commented on the apparent percentage of the gay population here. But just incase you can’t be bothered to click the link, 6.7% of the population use the gay dating website Gaydar. Now if I’m correct here not every straight cunt out there is using eharmony or the like so it’s quite possible that gay folk are the same. So you can shove your wee 6% statistic up your fucking arse.
Wait. This shit actually happens? :O
“EastEnders is at it, too, with, last month, boys in bed together, apparently naked.” – OH MY GOD. SHOCK FUCKING HORROR. Boys? In bed? Naked? TOGETHER? *vomit*. Get a fucking grip of yourself.
- “The dear old egalitarian BBC protested that its policy is to portray gay and hetero- sexual relationships in exactly the same way, both equally suitable for pre-watershed viewing. But are they equally suitable? ” – In other words. THINK OF THE CHILDREN?! I hope you’ve no children. I feel for them having to deal with a ignorant cunt for a father. You can’t blindfold your children from reality. These kind of people exist and rightly so. Stop treating them like they’re lesser people.
- “A new book, Primetime Propaganda by Benjamin Shapiro, argues that in California an exclusively liberal TV establishment shapes taste, style, politics and family life and attitudes, complaining that gay writers, directors and actors admit to promoting their own gay rights agendas. ” – If I’m reading this correctly apparently gay people now aren’t or shouldn’t be entitled to the same rights as straight people? For centuries straight writers and directors have been allowed to promote their own agendas but the minute gay writers do the same it becomes an issue. No. Not fucking okay.
- “They favour their own prejudices, be these of minority, race or sexual direction.” – LOL. What a complete fucking hypocrite. That is all.
The resemblance is uncanny.
“It fosters all minorities and gives them a disproportionate amount of airtime…— in this land of equal opportunities, minorities are given the opportunity to punch above their weight.” – Is this guy serious? Did he just say something about equal opportunities except some are given too many opportunities? I feel like I’m reading Animal fucking Farm, with Sewell being Napoleon, the fat greedy pig (I’m sure I can see a physical resemblance), stating that humans are equal but some humans are more equal than others. Get off your high horse. You do not have the right to decide who gets to voice there opinion and who should not, so I suggest you zip it.
- ‘Upsets the balance of the Street and abandons the homely, traditional values that have attracted millions of viewers.’ – Cool. Let’s just live a lie then. The gays don’t exist. The LGBT community should totally be shut away in the deepest darkest corners of the world and kept dirty little disgusting secret. A scare story for children all over the world. That’s an excellent plan.
- ‘The audience, fearful of a descent into moral turpitude, must press a button and turn off the programme.’ – I seriously wish I could press a button and turn of Sewell. If only things were that simple.
What’s it going to take for closed minded chumps like Sewell to remove their heads from their arses and realise that not everyone must be like them. Members of the LGBT society do not deserve to be hidden away and these story lines should be allowed on T.V. no matter what time of day. Why? Because there is, and will never be anything wrong with being Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Trans.