Do any, as close to naked as possible, Men feature in this calendar? Naw. Didnae think so.
It can be plain and simple, striking and popular. It’s available in every store, for all to want and all to buy. And no I’m not talking about the latest deal on Wotsits or Toilet paper. I’m talking about sexism.
From chocolate bars to airline companies and designer suits to crisps you’d have to be blind as a fucking bat to say you’ve not noticed it. Not even once. However, if you are one of these people, before I ask you how long you’ve been living on Mars, I suggest you do at least one of the following and then tell me you still don’t notice it:
1. Walk into your nearest supermarket and pick up a Yorkie.
2. Turn on your telly and wait for the McCoys advert.
3. Fly with Ryan air and ask for their charity calendar.
That’s just naming a few, and boy do I mean a few.
If I could afford to spend the rest of my life finding all the sexist ad campaigns ever to exist I’m positive it wouldn’t even be a little bit hard to find one for pretty much EVERY consumer bracket imaginable. But at the rate they’re churned out, that’d be damned near impossible. Yet people are still so quick to jump in and tell us that sexism simply doesn’t exist anymore. Women are equal to men. End of story, Bye bye and Goodnight.
Just incase you’re a lazy cunt and cannae be bothered to do any of the three things I suggested above let me make it a little easier for you.
Isn’t the campaign for underwear, on the right, absolutely hilarious? Incase you can’t read the tag line, it says -
Bet you didn’t notice the armadillo
Naw. Wanna know why? Because you’ve made it look like a fucking cushion. Had you put it somewhere a little more obvious… say in front of a white wall, photoshopped to ‘perfection’/death sticking it’s chest out for example, or even at her feet or how about on her bloody head then aye, I’d have noticed the fucking armadillo.
And isn’t this Pepsi advert just fan-fucking-tastic?!
Her life is clearly of such high importance that a single can of Pepsi can ‘buy’ this creepy weirdo as long as he wants to assault her whilst the lifeguard sits back and what, enjoys the view? So fucking respectable Pepsi. Tell you what, even if your product didn’t taste like shit, this advert certainly wouldn’t send me to the shops in search of a can. And if I happened to come across one? I’d save it until the chance to lob it at the head of whoever passed this god awful campaign arose.
Oh, and how about this -
You know you’re not the first
The first what? Lassie you’ve fucked in the back of your BMW because it’s such a ‘babe magnet’. Please give me a break. This shit is actually allowed to run whilst an advert that showed electric eels being released into the water systems was placed on an after 7:30pm rule? If you still try to tell me sexism doesn’t exist? GET TAE.
And here’s a little message to the ‘brains’ behind this oh so wonderful campaign – Ken whit I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Buying a BMW does not now, or ever get the buyer laid any more than if they drove a pimped out polo or a three wheeled banger. Many men are not stupid, and will still buy your fucking vehicle without you trying to make them believe it comes with some added ‘bonus’. Chumps.
Some brands even go as far as banning girls from buying them. But don’t worry ladies… it’s all in the name of humour, right? How about you go and buy a packet of McCoys instead? In fact. NAW. They’re ‘MAN CRISPS’.
I could continue on for hours and hours and hours but I think you probably get the drift, or at least, I hope you fucking do. Yes, I am aware that it’s going to take a while and a lot of work to remove sexism from advertising and ultimately from the world, but until that day comes, gonnae naw be a complete ignorant bastard and at least admit that it does still happen. And not only does it still happen but it happens in the majority of companies and campaigns. I hope that if you did not realise the extent of this problem before -YES, IT IS A PROBLEM -you can at least realise it now. And if not… I hope it’s because you’ve either:
a) Just been born.
b) Don’t live in this fucking universe.
(Cross posted and adapted from my personal blog)