Every little bit of anti-youth prejudice helps
Tesco in Silverburn recently limited the number of schoolkids allowed to go into their shop at the same time, and has spied on them when they’re in there like kleptomaniac nazi war criminals.
Chelsea Toner reports for Leftfield below,
Silverburn Tesco are pleased to observe the rapid drop in crime since they stopped school children coming into the superstore at lunchtime.
Instead of charging in with their baseball bats and ‘chibs’ like they once did, Tesco security now firmly instructs delinquents to form an orderly line outside, confiscates their school bags and give them a basket each.
They then are allowed in only two children at a time and are followed by a security guard at all times. Security spokesman Joe McBloggs gives us a little insight: “These kids are thieves and don’t even deserve to be able to shop at Tesco. I see them with the glints in their eyes, waiting to pull a knife on a staff member or run off with a plasma screen. These precautions are for the good of the public.”
Watch out he’s nicking the fucking telly
Tesco insist that crime has fallen by nearly 100% since these saftey measures were enforced. They do not, however, continue these proceedings after school, as obviously school children are less likely to steal on their way homes than during lunch times.
An anonymous staff member’s words on the matter are: “School uniform? Might as well be a strippet jumper they’re all wearin’. Straight to Barlinnie is where they’re all going,”. Members of the general public agree that they feel safer now.
“We feel out numbered and threatened by school thugs. You never know what they might have in their grubby jacket pockets. I’m never sending my angels to a public school. I live in the Mearns you know…,” Comments Marjorie Spencer-Asdaire. “Infact, I think that any child in a school uniform should be followed by a police officer at all times,” Perhaps one day all shopping centres will come to their senses and ban all school children as they are a harm to the public and a threat to business.